In an homage to David, today's goofy fantasy revolves around winning the lottery. I have my ticket, which potentially (I love that word and everything it brings to mind) represents $68 million dollars should the numbers printed upon it match the numbers drawn from the mysterious number generator hidden somewhere in Sacramento. Granted, $68M ain't no $200M, but it's still more money than I could spend in a lifetime - unless my habits drastically changed, of course.
As I ponder such an astronomical number, I also ponder how I would handle the first few days after verification of my win. When asked (yes, I ask people this question), most people say they wouldn't come to work the day after seeing their numbers drawn on TV or pulling them up on the Internet. Those people, in my opinion, aren't skeptical enough about the wacky way things work in California, even though all of them are having the same experiences as I am living in this bassackwards state. I would have to call in sick the day after, in order to not burn bridges in case the Lottery thing is really just a scam. On this sick day, I'd take my ticket to the Lottery office and have it verified.
Having won a significant amount on a "scratcher" last year, I already know that once you turn your ticket in to the Lottery office, it takes six to eight weeks to receive the money. I'm guessing that it might even take longer to receive funds in the exhorbitant amount that we are discussing today. So the decision THEN would be whether or not I continue to go to work while I wait for my winnings. Which of course I would, because the Lottery thing could STILL just be a scam.
So, there I'd be, going to work every day while I wait for my $68M to arrive. And another dilemma then presents itself: when should I put in my notice? Because I HAVE to put in my notice and do everything the right way so I can get the retirement money I've worked for all these years. Sure, it would be very tempting to put in my notice right away, because I have a window: six to eight weeks. If I put in 8 weeks notice, then I would even have time to train a replacement! The rub: I think I'd really have to wait until I had the money in my hot little hand before I gave up my steady, albeit meager, stream of income.
So, there I'd be, 10 weeks later, with $68M in the bank and still working because I waited to put in my notice. 10 weeks later, I'd be training a replacement, doing retirement paperwork, and acquiescing to requests to wait "just another couple of weeks" before bagging ass because that's the kind of milksop pushover I am. I'd be doing this while MSU and my kids would be out having fun and spending my winnings.
At this point in my fantasy, I always give up because it's not even fun anymore.
LOL.
Monday, June 22, 2009
New Blog!
I created a new blog: www.werideourown.blogspot.com
I've been wanting to expand into some sort of motorcycle-based internet business, but haven't been able to figure out what sort yet. I figured starting the blog and seeing if there was any interest might spark ideas about what's needed, especially for women riders.
I also wanted to try AdSense, just to see if having the links available as resources would help folks rather than me having to research everything. I figured the ads might also give me ideas for postings (comparison shopping, relevance of certain sites, etc.). Of course the cash incentive is a good thing, but considering that *I* never click on ads, I seriously doubt anyone else will, ha ha.
Of course I would love to have input regarding topic ideas and discussions... I'm actually really excited about this (which might be misguided), so I want to make it good and perhaps expand it from a blog into something else.
Yay!
I've been wanting to expand into some sort of motorcycle-based internet business, but haven't been able to figure out what sort yet. I figured starting the blog and seeing if there was any interest might spark ideas about what's needed, especially for women riders.
I also wanted to try AdSense, just to see if having the links available as resources would help folks rather than me having to research everything. I figured the ads might also give me ideas for postings (comparison shopping, relevance of certain sites, etc.). Of course the cash incentive is a good thing, but considering that *I* never click on ads, I seriously doubt anyone else will, ha ha.
Of course I would love to have input regarding topic ideas and discussions... I'm actually really excited about this (which might be misguided), so I want to make it good and perhaps expand it from a blog into something else.
Yay!
Monday, June 15, 2009
In Which I Continue to Fail
I really can't be in denial any more: I'm horrifically depressed. It's not a "phase" or being hormonally challenged. I'm honest-to-God depressed. So everything I think and feel is suspect, and that includes everything I write.
So much for disclaimers.
Earlier, I was embroiled in an online forum-type conversation about bikers being pulled over by police and field interviewed (photographed, asked about affiliations, etc.). Lots of bikers, Club-affiliated or not, have had similar situations. I reminded folks that we have rights. I reminded folks what they are. I provided advice on how to exercise rights and still be compliant with officers. I advised people that law enforcement officers are allowed to lie to people in order to gain compliance and information. I clearly stated that law enforcement will absolutely exploit a person's ignorance about their rights. Not because we're assholes. But because the deck is TOTALLY stacked in the citizens' favor.
Even with all this information handed to them, practically on a silver platter, they ignored it. The last post said something like, "Go along with the program and let them take your picture, etc. I got this from state troopers." Which, of course, was not necessarily in conflict with MY information (which was qualified by situations, severity of any lawbreaking, etc.), but was in essence negating the points I had tried so carefully to make. My points = big picture. Going with the program = not big picture. Fine.
And it IS fine, because it's not my problem. These are just more folks I can take advantage of when I need information that they might have. Good for me and my brethren in blue.
But in the bigger scope of things, it's just more fuel for my "I'm terrified of what this society is becoming" fire. Because what really happened on that forum today was something far more sinister than it appears. The message on that forum NOW, after all posts have been posted, is this: Don't, under any circumstances, find out for yourself what the laws are, what your rights are, and what you can and can't do when at risk for being detained. Even though the information that has been posted on this site JUST TODAY is in direct conflict, DON'T find out what the truth is. DON'T have any doubt or questions. DON'T research your rights by any means! Don't EXERCISE your rights by any means! ALLOW yourself to be documented as a gang member even if you aren't, because knowing your rights and standing by your rights might mean an INCONVENIENCE to you! Please, throw the other members of your Club under the documentation bus so YOU don't get a citation or arrest that YOU earned by breaking the law in the first place.
That's what *I'm* getting from it, anyway. And it's terrifying.
Because, really, knowing the laws, your rights, and your civic duty is YOUR responsibility as a citizen. Exercising these rights and responsibilities is what makes us FREE. Refusing to demonstrate the responsibilities and THEN choosing to waive or even NEGATE your rights is unfathomable. Unconscienable. WRONG.
And apparently, the new American Way. This is EXACTLY how we end up sacrificing more and more of our rights every single Election Day.
I'm just sayin'.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Random Thoughts of a Fevered Mind
I suppose I SHOULD have titled this post "Random Thoughts of an Unmotivated Mind." I have a butt-ton of work to do here in my office, but the events of the morning have erased any and all desire to do it. Not to mention that the moment I showed up in the hotel for my weekend trip, I manifested a horrid, snotty, balloon-headed virus that kicked my ass all weekend and continues to rub my face in the dirt now.
I thought it was a phase, or perhaps a mild depression... but it turns out that I really don't like my job any more. I'm horrified on a daily basis by the malice that is perpetrated on the innocent (and sometimes not-so-innocent). I'm disgusted by a society that actually ENCOURAGES parents to abdicate their most important role. I'm incensed at the amount of time and money that is spent on people who are not only in this country illegally, but refuse to follow the basic rules of the place they wanted to be so badly that they had to break in. And I don't have much time with the kids anymore, the very people who I entered this field to work with. I have plenty of report-writing time... more than enough ridiculous Judicial demands time... an overload of deadbeat, whiny, drug-using parent time... lots of red-tape, jump-through-the-hoops-for-the-whim-of-my-Supervisor time... more time than humanly possible spent on the phone with schools who can't wait to pass the buck... but I have very little kid time. And the kid time I DO have is rushed and of little quality.
Disturbingly, lately I'm finding that I'm not really enjoying the little bit of kid time that I do have. Mostly because I'm realizing that, these days, I don't like the kids much more than I like their parents. Kids are like the canaries in the coal mines. And in case you haven't noticed, the times they are a-changin'.
The point is that I've been wracking my brain, trying to come up with something that I can do that will allow me to spend more time with my family, pay my bills, and offer SOME semblance of fulfillment. I've thought of a couple of Internet-based businesses, but the chances of success are slim. I have to get something going, though, because the California budget issue is going to get a LOT worse before it gets any better and next time I might not survive the cut. I'm looking at a pay cut for sure as soon as our contract is renegotiated this month. Hanging around for another ten years just to earn a retirement - that's in the toilet right now anyway along with the rest of the stock-market based world - is starting to sound downright masochistic rather than fiscally responsible.
I used to think I was working for the betterment of our society. I've since realized that I am actually CONTRIBUTING to its demise, because I am locked into a system that frowns upon independent thought and action. I used to think that the gifts I enjoy - and am so blessed to have! - meant diddly-squat if they weren't shared in service to others. I'm feeling stingier now, wondering if I've squandered the best of what I've been given in the protection of people who don't WANT to be protected, in the service of others who don't want help. How many days have MY children suffered and gone without something vital because I gave the best of what I had to this never-ending parade of irresponsibility that files in and out of my office? How much of MY life-force have I spent on those who hate me for reasons even they don't fully understand? How much of my love and light have I left on ghetto doorsteps, in smelly institutions, in back alleys and front rooms filled with filth, on shackle keys and spit socks, hoping it would be just enough to help a lost soul find a different, less difficult path?
And how much of ME is gone because of it??? A little? Some? ALL?
I feel so very empty.
I thought it was a phase, or perhaps a mild depression... but it turns out that I really don't like my job any more. I'm horrified on a daily basis by the malice that is perpetrated on the innocent (and sometimes not-so-innocent). I'm disgusted by a society that actually ENCOURAGES parents to abdicate their most important role. I'm incensed at the amount of time and money that is spent on people who are not only in this country illegally, but refuse to follow the basic rules of the place they wanted to be so badly that they had to break in. And I don't have much time with the kids anymore, the very people who I entered this field to work with. I have plenty of report-writing time... more than enough ridiculous Judicial demands time... an overload of deadbeat, whiny, drug-using parent time... lots of red-tape, jump-through-the-hoops-for-the-whim-of-my-Supervisor time... more time than humanly possible spent on the phone with schools who can't wait to pass the buck... but I have very little kid time. And the kid time I DO have is rushed and of little quality.
Disturbingly, lately I'm finding that I'm not really enjoying the little bit of kid time that I do have. Mostly because I'm realizing that, these days, I don't like the kids much more than I like their parents. Kids are like the canaries in the coal mines. And in case you haven't noticed, the times they are a-changin'.
The point is that I've been wracking my brain, trying to come up with something that I can do that will allow me to spend more time with my family, pay my bills, and offer SOME semblance of fulfillment. I've thought of a couple of Internet-based businesses, but the chances of success are slim. I have to get something going, though, because the California budget issue is going to get a LOT worse before it gets any better and next time I might not survive the cut. I'm looking at a pay cut for sure as soon as our contract is renegotiated this month. Hanging around for another ten years just to earn a retirement - that's in the toilet right now anyway along with the rest of the stock-market based world - is starting to sound downright masochistic rather than fiscally responsible.
I used to think I was working for the betterment of our society. I've since realized that I am actually CONTRIBUTING to its demise, because I am locked into a system that frowns upon independent thought and action. I used to think that the gifts I enjoy - and am so blessed to have! - meant diddly-squat if they weren't shared in service to others. I'm feeling stingier now, wondering if I've squandered the best of what I've been given in the protection of people who don't WANT to be protected, in the service of others who don't want help. How many days have MY children suffered and gone without something vital because I gave the best of what I had to this never-ending parade of irresponsibility that files in and out of my office? How much of MY life-force have I spent on those who hate me for reasons even they don't fully understand? How much of my love and light have I left on ghetto doorsteps, in smelly institutions, in back alleys and front rooms filled with filth, on shackle keys and spit socks, hoping it would be just enough to help a lost soul find a different, less difficult path?
And how much of ME is gone because of it??? A little? Some? ALL?
I feel so very empty.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
