Ready for the Next Big Thing

If I had a whole day to write this, I might be able to accurately describe how ready I am to put this year behind me. If I had the house to myself, I might be able to find the words to tell you what I've learned truly enough that you'd never have to learn it for yourself. If there were holy silence in my space instead of the typical cacophony of life, I'm sure we'd both come away from this blog entry feeling enlightened and healed.

I can't explain. No time. I can only summarize.

I've learned more about trust and betrayal this year than I knew could be learned. Thankfully, I've learned more about trust than I have about betrayal. I am grateful for those who have entrusted their careers, their hearts, their secrets, their bodies, and their souls to me. Their esteem gives me hope.

I've learned that love changes nothing. So don't take it too seriously - Love is Love is Love.

The vast majority of people I love live their lives in fear. I've learned that I can't help them. I'm sorry. Please join me in the light when you decide to see it.

I've learned that the rhyme my softball coach used to chant (If you can SEE it, you can BE it) is true.

The Beatles were right: Money can't buy me love.

It was fun trying, though!!

I've learned that professional recognition isn't all it's cracked up to be. Some days I'd kill to be invisible.

I found out the hard way that I have a girly streak a mile wide: I really want someone to think I'm beautiful. Or at least tell me I am. Telling myself I'm perfect just isn't cutting it any more.

I've also learned that I'm not half as independent as I'd like to think. I've longed for someone else to make the decisions; I've wished that someone would take care of me. Humbling, to be sure.

I know what it's like to be a rock star. I've learned that giving every ounce of my energy for others pays back a thousandfold and more. I'm addicted to it.

I know that I have to give to get.

I've learned - again! - that quitting smoking sucks big hairy donkey dick. I believe I'll be a non-smoker for good this time.

Like it or not, things are going to change. I've learned that I can choose to be healed by change or scarred by it. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess what my past MO has been. But I'll choose differently tomorrow... and the next day... and the day after that.

Goodbye, 2006. Welcome, 2007. Let's allow it to be easy, shall we?