Let us pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and talk about masturbation.
Yes. I'll even say it aloud: "MASTURBATION."
I have to admit, I'm a fan. Masturbation is a fantastic stress reliever, a quiet moment alone with fantasies still not wholly developed, a celebration of self, and the safest sex there is. And, as I told one of my children long ago (who came to me worried because someone had told her that "God hates people who touch themselves"), if God didn't want us to masturbate, She'd have given us Tyrannosaurus Rex arms.
Yet, as a I stole a moment alone this morning, I found myself feeling rather guilty: making sure the house was empty, locking the bedroom door "just in case," making sure I was out of window range. I fear that one day, MSU will "catch me in the act," and will feel hurt because I didn't ask him to "help me out." I worry that my children - though I've been nothing but honest and open about all things sexual when the topic(s) arise - would wonder if I've lost my mind if they discovered me writhing away all alone.
Sometimes I even wonder if I'm somehow "not right," as it isn't strange for me to prefer my own company over that of MSU.
My revelation? After over 30 years of successful and enjoyable masturbation, I have finally reached the point where I am fully, wholly, and intimately okay with it. I don't have to feel guilty for indulging my own whims with my own body on my own time. I don't feel guilty that I choose to keep this activity private, self-love kept within my own soul rather than given to another.
This, of course, doesn't mean that I'll be hanging out in the living room, fiddling away like a madwoman, as the family goes about their business - but it does mean that I can stop feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about loving myself, loving my body, and loving the fact that my sexual pleasure does not depend on the attention of another.
I have given myself permission to love me as intimately as I expect others to. it is a BEAUTIFUL thing.
"Ní neart go chur le cheile." (together we are strong.)
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Through all the moons of many a year, the Fire Horse is a dynamic creature, with a vigor that promises youth and freshness until the very end of life. The will and the spirit of the Fire Horse cannot be broken.
8 comments:
LOL, interesting topic!
I'm glade you came (hee hee) to terms with it after all these years.
I've never thought it to be an immoral act but I have read that too much of it will make you go blind. No, wait that's what I was told. I have read that masturbation can be bad for a marriage if one partner starts using it as their sole source of gratification. In other words a lazy way to get off so they don't have to bother with their partners needs.
Of course really I have no idea :)
Well now, first of all i'm a bit surprised that you have ever been guilty about loving yourself, but I can see it. How I used to feel was that if my partner was masturbating then I was missing out, rather selfish I know.
Now I think it's all good, there's enough to go around, actually I wish she would fool around with herself a little more, you know how close jealousy and horniness are, her cheating on me behind my back with her own hands, WOAH! I gotta go get me some!
RT: I agree that masturbation as a sole source of sexual geratification in a marriage makes for a pretty lame marriage!! And though there are times when I would rather just "do what I gotta do" or even just have some quality "me" time, masturbation IS NOT a replacement for one-on-one intimacy. I'm just finally accepting that it's okay to love myself the way I do and to show it in that particular way (among others). ;-)
HB: I think that's a really healthy attitude! I agree - there is PLENTY to go around!! :-)
HA! you can't even go to the bathroom without interruption, sounds like risky business to me ;)
But I agree, to thine own self be true
Good topic!
I love masturbation!! What a great way to kill some time, relax your self, enjoy your body, and a long list of other benefits.
I enjoy being able to tear myself away from life for a while and just concentrate on me.
Having said that, I really like doing it with someone too *blush*.
So, uh, whatcha doin' later?
The same thing you are, Jen. *wink*
Oooh nice- imagination working......
*grin*
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