Small Victory

I've used Nextel as my cellular provider for 8 years. For most of that time, I bought the phones outright and picked the rate plan that worked for me, which kept me free of contracts, etc. For all those years, I could change my rate plan whenever I needed to, add services and additional lines on a whim, and enjoy outstanding customer service. Life was good with Nextel.

When MSU decided to go to Hawaii, we decided we needed to upgrade our phones so we could exchange multi-media messaging, etc. I couldn't afford to buy the phones we wanted outright, so took the "upgrade" and got the "internet deal" on two phones, a good rate plan, and a 2-year contract. Since I'd been a customer for so long anyway, I didn't think the contract would be such a big deal.

I can hear you laughing, you know.

About 2 months ago, the phones we bought only a year ago started malfunctioning and the battery life seemed to be severely compromised. I made several calls to Nextel Customer Service in a futile attempt to try to get an upgrade... or get the service that I PAID FOR with monthly "insurance" installments... or negate my contract, get new phones on a "new subscriber" deal and sign a new contract.

Well, you can guess how that turned out.

So after several weeks of phone calls, each of them lasting approximately one hour, I was - to say the least - disenchanted with my cellular service provider. I decided that, whatever it took, I was going to buy out of my contract and get a new phone, new provider, and a new persepctive.

Lo and behold, I finally sold my motorcycle. And though I have about a million things I could apply that cash to (like the loan, for Heaven's sake), I decided at least part of it was going to cellular freedom.

So yesterday I travelled to the AT&T store, meandered about the premises for about an hour, and finally chose new phones for MSU and myself. $312 and one new contract (with monthly service fees costing almost 50% less that Nextel) later, I walked out prepared to ride like the rebel I am to the Sprint/Nextel store to pay my bill, pay off the contract, and cancel my service.

I was REALLY looking forward to it.

When I arrived - in all my gangsta glory - there were about 20 customers in the store and 4 store personnel. I waited for almost 20 minutes before anyone even acknowledged my presence (and of course I was fuming in increasing increments the entire time). WHen someone finally deigned to help me, I advised them that I had come to pay my bill, pay off my contract, and cancel my service. "Pedro" (I'm assuming this is his name because it was on his nametag) advised me in not-so-many words that he'd be happy to take my money, but that I'd have to call Customer Care to cancel service. I told Pedro that he could go ahead and tally up the bill while I made the call to Nextel.

Of course he didn't. He helped other people. Which turned out to be a good thing.

Customer Care kept me on hold for about ten minutes - this is AFTER I navigated through the ridiculous phone tree - before Steve came on the line. I advised Steve that I was in the Escondido Nextel Store and that I was paying off my contract and bill. I advised him that I was calling to cancel my service. Of course, Steve is trained to try to talk me out of it, which he did. I told him that I was dead-set on cancelling and it would be most helpful if he would ditch the script and close the account. Steve asked why I wanted to cancel my service. I advised him that all the information he needed was in the database already, the culmination of several weeks and several hours of phone calls with absolutely no resolution. Steve thankfully advised that he had cancelled the service, but had to transfer me to the "Senior Representative" in order to "confirm" the cancellation.

Of course.

So I waited on hold for another 10 minutes before Corinne, the Senior Representative, came on the line.

Corinne: I understand you want to cancel.

Me: Yes. As a matter of fact, Steve informed me that my cancellation was already a done deal and you would be providing me with a confirmation number. May I have it, please?

Corinne: Well, I have to put a reason for your cancellation into the form. Why do you want to cancel?

Me: Corinne, I've already explained this to Steve. Please refer to the computer note that should detail several calls to Customer Care over the past few weeks wherein I was treated like a number and given no consideration whatsoever despite my 8 years of loyalty to your company.

Corinne: I need you to state a reason for the tape.

Please note that at this point a rather large crowd had gathered around me and the 4 store employees were frantically trying to employ every sales tactic in their little toolboxes to entice them away.

Me: Okay, Corinne. I am standing in the Escondido Sprint/Nextel Store right now. There are about 20 people in here listening to every word I say. In fact, they seem fascinated by this 30 minute foray into lunacy. I'll be happy, in the loudest voice I possess, to explain to you in minute, step-by-step detail, why I am cancelling my account. In fact, I relish the thought. Please, tell me when you start the tape and I will begin.

Insert applause from the customers here. No, I'm not kidding.

Corinne: Where did you say you are right now?

Me: In the Escondido store.

Corinne: And there are CUSTOMERS there?

Me: Yes. Lots of them. Though several people have walked out since I began this phone call. They were shaking their heads in disgust and I'm pretty sure they are on their way to the AT&T store, because I've been pointing at my NEW phone and giving the "thumbs up" signal since we began this little excursion.

Corinne: Well, I see that you have already switched two of your numbers over to a new provider, but you still have one line on the account. I'll give you three months of free service if you keep that line.

Me. No.

Corinne: I'll -

Me: No.

Corrine: Bu-

Me: No. No. No. NO. Please, give my my cancellation confirmation. Do it now.

Corinne: Okay, it's *******.

Me: Thank you, Corrine, you've been most helpful. Now, I want you to guarantee that I'm not going to receive a bill in the mail for cancellation charges, etc, because I am paying those right now in the store.

Corinne: It will show in the computer, but you'll recieve a bill for the cancellation.

Me: If I do, you will personally be hearing from me again. We're finished now, Corinne. Goodbye.

Insert actual CHEERS from the audience here.

Poor Pedro, who has been trying to manage other customers and failing miserably during this time, is now stuck with dealing with me. He totals up the bill plus the cancellation charges, and I give him my $879 and ask for a receipt. Pedro dutifully supplies me with the requested receipt, and I ask him, "We're finished, right? I'm not going to get a bill and have to come in here again, correct?"

Pedro: I don't work for Finance.

Me: What did you just say?

Pedro (mumbling): I don't work for Finance. I don't know if you'll get a bill or not.

Me: Pedro, did you just tell me that it's not your JOB to know whether or not I'll get a bill after I just handed you a wad of cash totalling just shy of $1000? Are you telling me that I might have to come back in here in a week??

Random Customer: Pedro, you don't want her to come back, do you? DO SOMETHING!!!

Yesterday was a really good day.