It will be but a moment, trust me. I can't maintain a realistic outlook for longer than that.
Body crisis averted? No. Adequately dealt with? No. Faced head on with realistic goals for the future? Nary a chance, good fellow. Licked, promised, and pushed to the back burner to simmer until scorched and unrecognizable? You got it.
Marital issues? Yeah, I still got 'em. The spousal unit was back for a two-week visit, and it went relatively well (that means there was only one irrational screaming match and - for once! - I chose not to play). He threatened to come back for good in November. Funny how he never gets around to asking if I'm willing to even HAVE him back at all. But, still consumed by ambivalence, I'd have no answer if he did.
He did fix the garbage disposal and the backyard sprinkler system. I rewarded him with sex and dinner at the nicest restaurant that I could afford.
And today I sit in my briefly empty and momentarily quiet house, enjoying a minor respite and trying to pinpoint the feeling of helplessness that is the underlying foundation of the ambivalence that plagues me. It's MY life, right???? Why do I hesitate to control it?
Hmmmmm.
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