Memorandum of Understanding

We, the REASONABLE, LAW-ABIDING, and VESTED CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, agree:

Oh, wait. I guess I should offer some definitions first.

Reasonable: Holding one's self personally accountable for one's decisions. Recognizing that special circumstances often dictate special action. Committed to the concept that "liberty" implies limitations.

Law-Abiding: Upholding the rights of others as sacred as those of self. Refusing to impinge upon the liberty of others for personal gain. Recognizing the spirit of the law as well as the letter and using the tenets therein as guidelines for safe and progressive living.

Vested: Payer of taxes. Owner of property (or lessee who understands that "lease" does not mean "please use my property for your own personal trash bin"). Child's school attendance enforcer. Person whose sole income source is not state-subsidized, or person who accepts state subsidy only in an extreme circumstance and discontinues acceptance as soon as possible.

Citizen: American-born or naturalized person. Speaker of English. Person who has reached the age of majority and is subject to and protected by the Constitution of the United States. Tax-payer.

Now...

We, the REASONABLE, LAW-ABIDING, and VESTED CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, agree:

That a person who is injured in an automobile crash caused by mechanical malfunction of the vehicle which that person unlawfully took from another during a high-speed chase in which said person was attemtping to evade justice for the felony offenses they committed IS NOT entitled to funding from the law enforcement agency in question for expenses related to "pain and suffering."

That a person who commits egregious felony acts IS a criminal and shall be treated as such, up to and including loss of his/her Constitutionally-protected right to privacy.

That the previously mentioned person IS NOT entitled to funding from the law enforcement agency in question because "they treated me like a criminal."

That a person who is injured as a result of their own negligence or failure to incorporate the simple Laws of Physics into their daily routine IS NOT entitled to funding from the privately-owned business or franchise that provided a paid service which peripherally and incidentally contributed to said person's previously existing negligence. Further, that a person who enters the home or business of another with the intent to commit an illegal act or unlawfully impinge upon the rights of the persons therein IS NOT entitled to recompense from said resident or businessperson if injured during the commission of the aforementioned act.

That a person who wishes to become a naturalized Citizen of the United States of America is a person who will commit to learning the National Language and ensuring that their children learn it as well. Said person, who has expressed an interest in citizenship and all it encompasses by choosing to take up residence in the United States of America, IS NOT entitled to Constitutional protection, healthcare at the expense of citizens, state-subsidized income, or minimum wage until citizenship has been bestowed. Said person IS NOT entitled to remain illegally in the United States indefinitely.

That effective parenting is an obligation and a responsibility, not an inconvenience. Said parent IS NOT entitled to indefinite state-subsidized income based on the ability to procreate irresponsibly.

That drug use is a choice as well as a crime. A person who has lost their home, family, and dignity as a result of drug use IS NOT entitled to be surprised, nor are they entitled to state-subsidized income and healthcare based solely on their chosen "addict" status. Further, a person who has chosen to unlawfully impinge upon the rights of others in order to facilitate said person's choice to use controlled substances IS NOT entitled to "second chances," nor is that person entitled to taxpayer-funded programs outside of a custodial institution.

That Citizens of the United States of America are, each and every one, equally subject to and protected by the Constitution.

That this Memorandum of Understanding is an evolving document and will be referenced and updated over time.

(Just venting... but it does occur to me that the pen is mightier than the sword.)