TP for Warriors

I passed this in the paper goods aisle at the grocery store, and laughed until tears streamed down my face. Ultra-strong toilet paper? What is the marketing gimmick for THIS going to be, pray tell?

"Manhandle your anus with Charmin Ultra-Strong!"

or perhaps

"More effective than a phaser on kill for your toughest Klingons: Charmin Ultra-Strong!"

Maybe

"Wet shit won't soak through this and get on your fingers: Charmin Ultra-Strong!"

Anyway, curiosity got the best of me and I bought some.

And I have to say: It's the shiz!

I don't generally skimp on TP, because the cheap stuff ends up becoming more expensive because everybody uses more of it. I don't really like the super-soft stuff, but the rest of the family agrees that softer is better, so that's what I buy. This ends up being more expensive, too, because the soft stuff "pills" and falls apart quickly, so what should have been a two-square job turns into a ten-square job. Or more.

Okay, TMI. The point is this: Charmin Ultra-Strong is da bomb. It's not only strong, it's THICK. For the most common bathroom application, one square of this stuff is more than enough! For the second most common application, two or three squares will SERIOUSLY be all that's needed. For nose-blowing, three squares folded double is more than enough with no leakage.

At first, it seems like it's not very soft, but really it's just the alien thickness tricking you into thinking it's not soft.

Sure, it was a little embarrassing buying "Ultra-Strong" toilet paper (someone who would need such an item must TRULY have issues!!), but I'm a convert!!!