Today's Goofy Fantasy

In an homage to David, today's goofy fantasy revolves around winning the lottery. I have my ticket, which potentially (I love that word and everything it brings to mind) represents $68 million dollars should the numbers printed upon it match the numbers drawn from the mysterious number generator hidden somewhere in Sacramento. Granted, $68M ain't no $200M, but it's still more money than I could spend in a lifetime - unless my habits drastically changed, of course.

As I ponder such an astronomical number, I also ponder how I would handle the first few days after verification of my win. When asked (yes, I ask people this question), most people say they wouldn't come to work the day after seeing their numbers drawn on TV or pulling them up on the Internet. Those people, in my opinion, aren't skeptical enough about the wacky way things work in California, even though all of them are having the same experiences as I am living in this bassackwards state. I would have to call in sick the day after, in order to not burn bridges in case the Lottery thing is really just a scam. On this sick day, I'd take my ticket to the Lottery office and have it verified.

Having won a significant amount on a "scratcher" last year, I already know that once you turn your ticket in to the Lottery office, it takes six to eight weeks to receive the money. I'm guessing that it might even take longer to receive funds in the exhorbitant amount that we are discussing today. So the decision THEN would be whether or not I continue to go to work while I wait for my winnings. Which of course I would, because the Lottery thing could STILL just be a scam.

So, there I'd be, going to work every day while I wait for my $68M to arrive. And another dilemma then presents itself: when should I put in my notice? Because I HAVE to put in my notice and do everything the right way so I can get the retirement money I've worked for all these years. Sure, it would be very tempting to put in my notice right away, because I have a window: six to eight weeks. If I put in 8 weeks notice, then I would even have time to train a replacement! The rub: I think I'd really have to wait until I had the money in my hot little hand before I gave up my steady, albeit meager, stream of income.

So, there I'd be, 10 weeks later, with $68M in the bank and still working because I waited to put in my notice. 10 weeks later, I'd be training a replacement, doing retirement paperwork, and acquiescing to requests to wait "just another couple of weeks" before bagging ass because that's the kind of milksop pushover I am. I'd be doing this while MSU and my kids would be out having fun and spending my winnings.

At this point in my fantasy, I always give up because it's not even fun anymore.

LOL.