Lies, Lies, Lies

I wanted to start posting poetry today. I have a lot of it, some published, some not. Most of it is campy and all of it is amateur, but it's mine and I'm proud of it. Since I lost most of it in the recent and cataclysmic computer crash, all I have to post is rather old. See if I ever work without a backup drive again... though it's just as easy for me to kill one of those.

Alas, I don't have time to post any poetry because I have to address my teen daughter's ongoing deception problem. It'd be easy - and accurate - to say, "Well, she's her father's daughter," but she's my daughter too and I won't stand for it. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty damn tired of being surrounded by liars. If something is important enough to do, shouldn't it also be important enough to take responsibility for? In my mind, absolutely. In the minds of our youth - and many of their parents - that is just not the case.

Of course I'll take away privileges. Of course I'll give the lecture. Of course I'll watch her like a hawk and limit my own freedom in an attempt to nip this disturbing predilection toward untruth in the bud of its young life. But I wonder if my daughter realizes what she has lost this day? I wonder if she realizes the magnitude of what I've lost?

In relationships, we have nothing if we don't have trust. I'm not talking about the "don't sleep around on me and I won't sleep around on you" kind of trust. I'm talking about the fundamental knowledge that "I will love you no matter what." There is nothing we can do to each other - mothers, fathers, siblings, lovers, husbands, wives, and friends - that is more damaging and undermining than lying (and yes, lying by omission counts as lying, guys). Everything else can be worked out, one way or another. Lying will not cover your shame, it will only exacerbate it. Lying will not erase the events from existence, only bring them forward with you because you can never outrun the lie (the truth of a matter can be and usually is easily forgotten, but once you commit to a lie you have to keep it alive forever). Lying will not protect you from the truth. Perhaps most impotantly, lying hurts like nothing else. Betrayal and deceit cause holes in the human heart that never heal and always fester.

The truth sets us free. The truth sets us free. Free to live without shame. Free to seek relationships wherein our human weakness is celebrated and embraced. Free to love and be loved and revel in the knowledge that we have nothing to hide.

I hope she understands.