Last night I dusted off a costume and performed publicly for the first time since I retired from professional Middle Eastern Dance about 5 years ago. It was a friend's dad's birthday party, and I thought it would be a nice "gift" to surprise him.
I packed up my costume, chose music and recorded a cd, checked that my little boombox was still in working order, and headed out with MSU for the party.
After everyone finished eating, it was time to change. As I pushed and prodded at various costuming elements, I realized I was shaking! I haven't been nervous before a performance in, well, I don't know how long.
I also had forgotten many crucial things - bobby pins to secure my headpiece... safety pins to secure other various costume parts... waterproof makeup... dance slippers for my tender tootsies... and things that I would have packed in my bag without thinking "back when."
All of which made me want to call the whole thing off!!
MSU showed up in my changing room as I was attempting to get my finger cymbals on my shaking fingers. He asked, "What is UP with you??? You're shaking??!!!" I quickly related the list of "problems" and was strangely on the verge of tears. He kissed my forehead and said, "You're going to do just fine."
Sweet man.
He went out to start the music and I did my thing. I was tired by the end of the first song!! I had forgotten how much work this is, and boy, am I EVER out of shape!!!!!!!!!!
At the end of, in my opinion, probably my LAMEST performance ever, I rushed back into the changing room to shed the trappings of the most recent of my silly ideas. Looking in the mirror, I found that my headpiece was indeed askew and partially covering one eye... my vest had become unsecured on one side and was looking pretty ghetto... I was sweating like pig and my eye makeup had run down one side of my face (conveniently camoflaged by my errant headdress)... somewhere along the line I had lost my dagger (now THERE'S a safety issue!)... and I was horrified to realize that people had been taking PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT... John said I did very well (and he would know, having been subjected to years and years of Middle Eastern dance performances) despite the fact that I felt VERY out of practice and sloppy... several of the ladies present asked if a group could get together for some informal classes... and the birthday boy seemed very appreciative.
So, as risks go, this experience was inconclusive given the differences in opinion. I'm glad I did it, but also probably won't go rushing to take any more "gigs" or make a decision to "come out of retirement" anytime soon!
I do hope, however, that the ladies who approached me decide to actually get together for some "girl nights" and belly dance lessons - my favorite part of the dance has always been watching women fall in love with their bodies again and realizing how strong they really are. Some wine, snacks, and shimmying flesh sounds like a good time to me!!!
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5 comments:
I am totally fascinated with your confidence in yourself and your body. Not that you have a reason to worry about it but most do. I think I was just as shocked as you to have read that you were shaking before your performance. I'm sure you did fantastic because even though you are not modest when it comes to your body you are about your abilities. The radio interview proved that if nothing else.
Of course you should have taken pictures... pictures, pictures, pictures, always remember the pictures ;)
Thanks, RT. :-)
Apparently there are pictures, but thankfully I haven't seen any emerge yet. Good God, but forgetting little costuming things is a disaster waiting to happen and I was lucky to have dealt with only those minor things. it's been worse, believe me!! :-)
And, no, I didn't do fantastic... I am badly out of practice and being tired and sweaty after only 7 minutes is unacceptable!! Though I must say that I chose music that wasn't really conductive to slowing down at any point. Silly me. It's nice of you to think that I may have done well, though. :-)
But the audience didn't seem to mind (or care - thank Heaven that most wouldn't know the difference), and their enjoyment is all that matters.
I do hope the ladies go through with their interest - it'll do us ALL some good - give me a chance to practice and give them soemthing new to bring home. :-)
I would never ever EVER take a class, unless you were teaching me, or holding my hand.
I hope when the pictures surface that you'll post one. Or at least send me one. ;) Right now I can only use my imagination and although I'm really enjoying it I'd like more to work with. *wink*
It's fun, Jen! I think you would enjoy it. :-) Come visit and we'll go to a class together!
If pictures appear in my in-box, i will post them no matter how awful they are. :-)
If I ever make it out to California you'll be my first stop.
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