Beating a Dead Horse

If you think you're sick of this topic, imagine how I must feel.

It's 11:32 am, and instead of being at work I am home. I'm home because my youngest puked at school, and puking at school means instantaneous parental mandate to retrieve said child. MSU called me about 90 minutes ago to advise me that the school had called him as the Chosen One for the day. Confused as to why he would be calling me instead of going to get the little pukemonster, I asked him if he was going to get her. He said "I don't have any PTO (paid time off)."

My kids are my priority, definitely. And I don't mind going to get them at school when they are sick and should be home. But I'm very, very far behind at work right now, I was out of the office yesterday and will be out of the office tomorrow and have several pressing matters that really can't wait because then they stack up on other pressing matters until the whole thing is unrecoverable. In other words, today wasn't a good day for a surprise.

MSU asked, "So can you leave to go get her, or what?" "Well," I replied, "it's not a good day for me to have to leave. Is there any way you can use sick time to get her?" To which MSU snapped, "I TOLD you. I don't have any PTO. If I leave it'll be without pay. And I KNOW you don't want THAT."

(I'm pretty sure that whole sentence meant something completely different, but that's another topic.)

Just at that moment, I was hit with an understanding that I hadn't previously been privileged with: John works for an organization that allows vacation time and sick time to accrue into and come out of ONE "account," the PTO cache. I have seperate sick time and vacation time. He does not. And he foolishly, recklessly, and sophomorically used up all his PTO without even once thinking that HE might get sick... or *I* might get sick... or his MOTHER might get sick... or one of our CHILDREN might get sick, thus doing the intelligent thing and saving back AT LEAST 8 hours of PTO for a contingency.

Where did the PTO go, you ask? Three guesses, and the first two are just for show. That's right - it went to "MANDATORY TRIPS WITH THE GANG." Am I counting wrong (math was never my strong suit)? I'm counting TWO parents in this family, not one. Perhaps I just haven't mastered the "new math."

Last night, MSU was up until the wee hours trying to get a cheap airfare to Las Vegas for next weekend for another gang fiesta. The cheapest airfare he could find was $130. "Honey," I said, "it's a bad time for an unexpected expense. And I'm going to need your help next weekend because there are some conflicting activities and we have to get ready for the Holiday Sing the following weekend." MSU said,

(wait for it)

"It's mandatory. You'll need to change your plans or ask Damian and Laura to help you. Hey, wait a minute... why don't you just come with me??"

I didn't respond. Not because I was demonstrating a heretofore unknown level of self-control, but because I honestly was rendered speechless. I should have made the Sign of the Horns at him, but I just retreated quickly into the bedroom and the sancuary of mindless sleep.

The point of all of this is that I feel like I'm in one of those B movies where things just keep going down the most ridiculous story line possible and you're forced into suspension of disbelief because the characters are surprisingly well-acted. What next?? Who knows! But I guarantee that it will be almost excruciatingly ludicrous!!! And the thing that is most troubling is the fact that it has been MSU who has been harping at me about going to the doctor, and telling me I have an ulcer, and yelling at me to reduce my stress at work and/or go out on stress leave, and whining at me because I'm in pain and exahusted and really grouchy at the end of the day and he consistently fails to realize that the biggest contributor to my stress level IS NOT WORK.

BUT... MY HERO HAS ARRIVED.

RT, partially in jest, presented the idea that I allot MSU a gang budget. I give MSU a monthly gang allowance, and leave managing it to him. If I take this to the next level (this part of the plan is still being fleshed out), it might be possible - and even reasonable! - to give him both an allowance of money AND time. No rollover minutes, though. I think my initial proposal will be $100 per month and 80 hours per month and we can negotiate from there (though I don't think I'm going to budge much on the cash).

Anyone wanna take bets on how he's gonna react? I'm putting my $20 in the square that says he's going to be so incensed at being "treated like a child" that he'll refuse to even talk about it and I'll be forced to move all the money into my "emergency" account so he can't access it out of spite. Anyone have a different position?