Intrigue

Spying on a loved one is a nasty business. Even nastier when you happen to find what you were hoping you weren't looking for. Nastiest when you find that you're the one being spied upon.

Seems like everything I post has something to do with a trust issue, no?

This time, it's not my issue. This time it has absolutely nothing to do with me, besides that I happen to be the recipient of random phone calls (which I don't answer) from a former significant other. All the information I have regarding this situation comes from voicemail messages and the occasional "wrong number." Today's information reveals that my former significant other's current significant other isn't too happy about the number of calls made to my number. As a matter of fact, she's evidently hired someone to spy me (and him, I'm guessing) out. Nothing to see here, folks... but I resent the implication.

But here's the real question: why not just call me and actually speak to me rather than pretend it's a wrong number? Why not confront me personally and find out what the scoop is? Is it because she would rather have the drama of constant accusations at home (thereby forcing my ex to continually "prove" his love to her by professing his innocence or whatever it is he does to make excuses for calling my number twice a week), or is it because she fears what I might say? In reality, this isn't about me at all - does she fear a confrontation with me because I might verify what she's known all along: that her relationship is failing because her significant other is a psychotic, not because he's involved with another woman?

I won't get to tell her in person, but I'll tell her here:

I'm no threat to you. If I wanted your man, I'd take him. You know I can, and that's why we're having this issue. You know I've always been able to, and that's why you are constantly suspicious. But why not let the past eight years be your guide? I don't want him; if I did he'd be with me and you know it. I don't talk to him, ever; the only time I see him is if he finds a way to sneak up on me and then it lasts only as long as it takes me to vacate the area. If I wanted to sabotage your relationship, I'd do it and I would make sure it was done. And I sure as hell wouldn't wait eight years. If you've already accepted the fact that he's a psychopath and you love him and want to be with him anyway, consider this: you're sabotaging your own relationship with your suspicion and accusations, valid or not. Consider this as well: what are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to give up your fear, your last defense? Does your gut tell you that I am the enemy, or is your nemesis closer? There may be a threat, girlfriend, but it is not I.