Math Curse

Someone I greatly enjoy recently commented, "If you're reducing your reasons to mathematics, it can't be good." And, in a sense, he's correct: sometimes it's easier to present my reasoning as a mathematical equation, as I don't waste a lot of time explaining and all the terms are known (there are very few variables in my day to day life, especially now that I'm not actively crushing). I tend to present especially hurtful decisions (and the reasoning behind them) in mathematical terms because it takes less time, it's easily understood, and it depersonalizes the whole darn situation to a point where I don't have to think about it in any terms other than how it all adds up. I suppose one could call it a stylized form of denial.

But now I wonder: what are the mathematics of daily living? Does every relationship have a ratio? Is every decision a matter of statisical probability? Are love, hate, indifference, and passion quadratic in nature? What about joy? Is there a way to calculate ecstasy so one knows it is actually ecstasy and not just pleasure cubed?

Can we calculate the impact of a first kiss as Force = attraction X anticipation? Can I measure the velocity of a hasty prayer as I pass the scene of an accident as Safety = 10 feet (65 miles per hour X a heartbeat) + 1/2 Godspeed X infinity squared? What is the childbirth quotient? Perhaps Agony X Ecstasy / Lifetime hugs and kisses? Is it the unknown variable x that makes the probability of death equation so distasteful? Or is it that probability itself can be proofed or negated in the blink of an eye? Is the smile that makes one believe in love at first sight measured in Joules or in U(potential energy)? Is an idea that hits you like a ton of bricks actually moving like: Eureka! = 9.8 m/s squared X desperation X creativity / synapse squared?

I fear the Math Curse may be more sinisterly prevalent than even Scieszka and Smith predicted!!